


I've Only Felt Religion When I've Lied With You

by get_glitch3d



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Inspired by Music, JOSH IS ALIVE AND WELL THANK YOU, JOSH IS GRAY AND BLUE, JOSH TREATS YOU RIGHT, Passionate Sex, Sexual Content, bone zone, but blue aint got nothin' if he aint got you, colors by halsey, everything is blue, everything is cool, game quotes and references, hannah and beth are gone but josh is okay, i did a lot of medication research just to figure out THE DAMN COLOR, im sorry, josh is safe, love is thrown at naked bodies, moonlight is groovy, rocks are thrown at windows, sexual tension got resolved, sunlight makes josh look vvv pretty, sweet cinnamon roll, the look, this is happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2015-10-05
Packaged: 2018-04-25 00:37:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4939954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/get_glitch3d/pseuds/get_glitch3d
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Unresolved crush-tension gets resolved. Josh is okay, as long as you're with him. Everything seems blue, he's blue. But blue ain't got nothin' if he ain't got you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I've Only Felt Religion When I've Lied With You

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: There's sex in this, and I successfully wrote it without using explicit words. (Yay, me.) This is also kind of written in a poetically observant way, if you will.

You always looked at him a certain way, a bit different than other people did. Sure, he was frayed, his edges fringed, much like his mind. But he was perfect, even when he was slipping off the mental cliff and gripping the edge because if he let go, he'd lose it. You always pulled him up, though. There were good times, and bad times, definitely heavy on the bad, but he managed to come back from them. 

Some people in your friend group noticed how you looked at him, but he didn't. And you didn't notice how he looked at you. Sam was always around, yeah. He looked at her differently, too. Just not the way he looked at you. 

He stole your bags of chips, walked away with them despite your protests but would return them as he laughed a melody. That's what his laugh was. Sweet, like honey. It made you smile. The whispers and teasing remarks from your friends didn't help.

“Just go ask him out!” Ashley would say, and you'd shake your head. “He digs you, y'know.” Chris would add, causing you to blush. Jessica would just give a taunting smirk.

“He's probably gonna use you.”

Mike was helpful, to an extent. “How do you know he doesn't like you in the same way?”

Or Matt and Emily's joint response. “Just kiss him.” 

When they were alive, Hannah and Beth would giggle and give you pointers, considering you'd been their friend for ages.

Sam, on the other hand, she was a bit...possessive over him but she still gave you advice. “Go for it.”

“But how will I know if he likes me?” You'd ask.

“He'll get a look in his eyes, but you shouldn't have to stare at him to find it.”

“What look?” You questioned.

“You'll know when you see it.” She patted your wrist and walked away. You wondered how they all knew, how they found out. It was subtle, at first, anyway. You both were. You stole glances at him, made jokes about his “lumberjack style” and he'd steal glances at you, squeezing your arm to get your attention. 

That's what put you outside his window, throwing rocks at his window. You had tried to find pebbles, something that wouldn't break the window if thrown too hard, but you couldn't. You were throwing the rocks from the little pot by the flowerbed. 

The first rock didn't do much. The second was followed by a blanket being thrown to the side, you could see it move. The third made a light turn on and the fourth brought Josh lazily walking to his window. You saw him squint in the light of his lamp, you bent down to pick up another rock. You swiped one up, but didn't notice Josh had opened his window. You threw the rock and Josh did his best to stay quiet as he avoided it, you covered your mouth as your eyes widened.

“Are you trying to kill me!?” He whisper-shouted, staring down at you after straightening out. You winced, dropping your hands.

“No, sorry!” You whisper-shouted back. He shook his head and glanced behind him before looking back down at you. “C'mon, Rapunzel, are you gonna let down your hair or do I have to break in?” You asked him, hearing him snort. 

“If you break in, I'm calling the cops.” He threatened jokingly, keeping quiet as to not wake the neighbors. “I'll get the door.” 

“Wait, aren't your parents home?” 

“Nah, they're visiting a family member.” Josh said before closing his window, you glanced to the back door and saw a light come on before jogging to it, seeing Josh step in front of it. He was in a tank top and boxer-briefs, something that made you smile. 

“Why aren't you with them?” You asked as he let you in, closing and locking the door behind you. 

He shrugged, walking back upstairs as you followed. “Didn't feel like going.” Josh watched you roll your eyes. “I'm twenty years old, I can decide what I want.”

“You're a five year old child.” You corrected, getting up the winding stairs as he glanced back at you with a smile. You couldn't help but check him out as he walked in front of you. 

“Why are you here?”

“I wanted to check on you.” You stated, watching the smile on his face turn into a frown. 

He sighed, almost a grumble as he sat on his bed, watching you sit on his desk chair. “I'm fine.”

“I know.” You told him. “You keep telling me that.”

“It's like,” Josh paused, looking at his watch on the nightstand, the black banded one right beside his phone. “1:34 AM.” 

“I know.” You repeated, your voice steady as you looked at him. The light in the room was dim as he looked at you, too. You looked down, a silence settling over you two. When you looked back up he was still looking at you. His lips were parted slightly, his jaw slack before he clenched it, his eyes a bit red but glossy. His hair was messy, of course. What there was of it, anyway. He looked perfect.

You stared at his eyes. You saw something flicker in them and you furrowed your eyebrows momentarily, your lips pursed before you swallowed, realization flooding you. It was _the look._

He stood, then, taking three short steps to reach you. You stared up at Josh, craning your neck to do so as his hand reached out to gently smooth back some of your hair. 

“You should get home.” Josh told you, his hand dropping to the back of your neck. 

“I'm fine right where I am.” You replied. It was a slow motion he made, leaning down, that is. He kept looking into your eyes, making sure he was doing what was right. Of course, you were expectant. When Josh was inches from your lips he spoke.

“I know.” He used your words before kissing you, his hand on the back of your neck tangling in your hair. Your kiss in return was a bit faster, urgent, but still passionate. Your eyes closed easily, as did his. They closed before yours, and your lips were moving together, hot breath exchanging as you stood, his free hand moving to your waist.

Your left had pressed against his chest and your right held the side of his neck. It was another few moments before you broke for air, but it was quick to be pushed away when you kissed him again, gasping for him. He was air. He was your oxygen. But that's what you were to him, that's what you were as he pushed your hoodie off. That's what you were when you kicked off your shoes, lowering your height slightly. That's what you were when his hands worked at the buttons of your jeans, and when you actually pulled apart to remove your shirt. 

It as quick motion as he bent down, rolling your pants off before turning you around causing you to fall on his bed, pulling your pants off the rest of the way to join your clothes. And as you two were separated, you removed his tank top, pulling it quickly over his head as he crawled over you. Your socks had rolled down a bit and had become bunched at the ankle from him taking off your jeans. 

Josh kissed you again, his fingers splayed across your sides as he straddled you. His body heat wrapping around you like a warm blanket. Your hand came up to rest against his chest, his heart beating rhythmically as you took one of his hands and pressed it to your chest, too. The beating syncing together.

Another a few more quick movements, your bra was across the room, joined by his boxer-briefs and then your underwear. His lips crashed against yours, kissing you, loving you. Josh leaned to the side slightly, you heard the drawer beside his bed open but it was difficult over the pounding in your ears. The tear of a foil wrapper cut the quiet air. Or mostly quiet, considering you two were breathing quickly and hotly, your chests heaving slightly as he rolled the condom onto himself. You brought your legs up to be bent at the knee, and you didn't need any preparation because you were _ready_ for this. 

You felt him push inside of you, causing you to tilt your head back against his blue pillows. His wolf-gray walls caught your focus as you breathed out, Josh moving his hips to push all of himself inside of you. His hips rocked slowly, pulling out then pushing in. One of his forearms moved to gently rest beside your head, the other hand held your hip. 

There were gentle, loving moans in the air. Heavy but passionate curses, names dancing across tongues like a symphony of romance. You two moved in sync, one of your hands across his back, the other raking through his short hair. Passion, how could two people nearly legal enough to drink be this passionate. You just were.

You were as his hips moved faster, he was as you brought your hips up slightly, raking your nails down his back. You were as you wrapped your legs around his waist, he was as you slipped your hand to his neck, bringing his head down to allow him to leaves marks against your neck and collarbones. You were passionate as his hips stuttered, a sloppy movement following them before he came and he was as he let out a soft curse, a mewl almost as you clenched around him, tipping over the edge. 

And by whatever almighty being is out there, his hand on your hip came up to rest in your hair and you heard “I love you” spill from his lips as he stayed inside of you, gently moving to create more friction. He eventually pulled out, disposing of his condom. You two lied next to each other and he flicked off his light, the moonlight coming in through the window to glaze over your naked body, and his. 

Josh turned his head to look at you, your chest heaving as his did. 

“You mean it?” You asked him, turning your head to look at him, the moonlight washing over his face. He nodded.

“I love you.” He said again, bringing his hand up and waited for yours to join in his, and when it did you interlocked your fingers, squeezing his hand before resting your intertwined hands between you two. 

“I love you, too.” You said, your heavy breath lacing the words. Then he turned his head back to his ceiling and breathed deeply, and when the both of you caught your breath, you fell asleep. But when you woke, Josh was watching you. You smiled slightly, the sunlight washing over him in an angelic way. He was like a dream and he had you in a trance with the way the light flooded over him. Your hands were still together, and you realized you hadn't pulled his blankets over you, but you didn't mind.

He made you confident. You sat up slowly, tucking your feet beneath his blankets that had been kicking to the end of the bed, and he turned over to trace his free hand over your back. You glanced to his blue jeans hanging haphazardly on his dresser, the ones you had always seen him wearing.

The blue under shirt on top of them, and you let out a 'humph' of amusement. Then your eyes moved to his medication on his desk and you didn't frown, scowl or smile, you just stared at them. They were blue, like most things his owned, but some things he had were gray. Including his mood, including his dreams, sometimes. 

He called you the only colorful thing in his life. He didn't mean to say it like you were an object, more like a gift. 

You felt his fingers tracing shapes you on your back and you turned your head, resting your chin on your own shoulder before leaning back, causing him to pull his hands back.

“This is gonna sound weird,” You began, glancing at the sun outside before looking back at him. “But would you like to go to the amusement park?”

“It's probably not opened.” He replied, propping himself up on his closed fist as he took your hand again in his other one. 

“So?”

“Are you saying we break in?” Josh faked a gasp, watching you grin. 

You crawled away from him and off the bed, going to your jeans before pulling out your keys and turning around after Josh checked out your naked body. “They're doing a few tests today, so it's closed either way. Besides, it's not breaking in if you own the place.” You presented him with the keys that had your dad's name on the tab connecting them with the amusement park name on it. 

“It isn't if I don't report you.” He replied smugly, getting you to laugh. 

“C'mon.” You urged, poking his sides. “Let's go.”

And you did. You wanted to make him happy, keep him off the edge. It's what you always had done since he lost his sisters, since...everything. That world of what he did, so far separated now, came crashing like a wave against you. But you shook it off as you got dressed. You shook it off as you pulled on one of his t-shirts and one of his flannels. You shook it off as he stood, already dressed as you slipped on your shoes, in his doorway. 

You didn't care, the only thing you cared about was him. He made a noise and ran back into his room, you heard a shuffle, a shake, saw him grab the bottle of water off his nightstand and swallow something. _His meds._ Josh came back to you and took your hand. You leaned up, pecked his lips and you two set off... To make more memories that you'd never forget.


End file.
